The Choices We Make
by Misha
Summary: AU. Veronica makes a pivotal decision that changes everything.
1. Part One: Choosing Sides

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

Disclaimer- I don't own anything to do with "Veronica Mars", I really wish I did, but I don't. It belongs to Rob Thomas and UPN. I'm not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- This is just a weird story idea that came to me one night. It's an alternate reality and it changes a few key details. It takes place right after Lilly was murdered and Veronica chooses to stand with the 09ers instead of with her father. To make the idea work, I fiddled with a few key events. In this, Duncan and Veronica were still together at the time of Lilly's death and he didn't know yet about them possibly being siblings. I also change the way Lianne leaves. Some of the characters might seem different and the situation might seem a little forced, but I think it works. This is going to be a very long drawn out story, as it deals with a path not taken and with relationships between the main characters. Jake, in particular, might seem out of character and some of his actions might seem unbelievable, but I believe it'll come together and I can make it fit. Also, I took liberty with the timeline, since I don't believe an exact timeline for the events following Lilly's murder was given. I did base it on the comment that Veronica makes in the pilot, saying that the Lilly Kane video was leaked six weeks after her murder and went from there. I use dates here, so that you know exactly when everything is happening and since Lilly was killed on October 3rd, I think my timeline for events works **fairly **well. As I said, this was just a bizarre idea that occurred to be one day on the bus and demanded to be written. Well, that's all for now, enjoy!

Pairing- Duncan/Veronica, some Keith/Lianne, Jake/Celeste, Jake/Lianne, and Logan/Lilly.

Summery- Veronica makes a pivotal decision that changes everything.

Rating- PG-13

Spoilers- Bits and pieces from the first season. Anything to do with Lilly and the back story.

* * *

Part One- Choosing Sides

_Friday, November 14th, 2003_

Veronica could barely process everything that was going on her life right now.

Lilly was dead. Someone had murdered her.

Veronica's father thought that Jake Kane had done it...

Veronica's head was spinning. She couldn't even process the thought. She knew Lilly's father, he would **never** do anything to harm Lilly, so why did her father think that he did?

It made no sense. Nothing made sense and nothing felt right.

She thought about that video that was circulating on the net. About how there had been an emergancy election and her father wasn't sheriff anymore. She thought of what Logan had said, about how this was Lilly's family and how it was Lilly. She thought of his anger at what her father was doing and how Duncan could barely look at her and she understood there was a choice to be made.

Her father or her friends.

She could support her dad, even though there had been a recall election and he was no longer sheriff, even though the town was against him and even though she couldn't comprehend how he could even suspect Lilly's own father...

Or, she could stand with Duncan and Logan, with the Kane family, with everyone from school and keep her friends, but turn against her own father.

What did she do? How did you make that choice? Your father or your friends?

Veronica buried her head in her hands. It was the most impossible thing in the world, yet she had to do it and she had to do it now.

So what would it be? Her father or everyone else?

* * *

Veronica stood on the Kane front step a little while later and knocked on the door, praying that Duncan answered the door.

She was in no shape to face Celeste Kane and she wasn't sure just what to say to Jake Kane. To her relief, it was Duncan who answered the door.

"Veronica." He said slowly. "This isn't a good time. I mean, with your father--"

"He's why I'm here." Veronica said quietly. "Duncan, I'm so sorry for what... Of course, your father couldn't have... I'm with you 100."

"Even against your own father?" Duncan asked disbelievingly.

Veronica nodded. "He's wrong and I know he's wrong. I love him, but... I can't... Not when..."

"I understand." Duncan said and he wrapped her in his arms.

She leaned against him, just taking in his warmth. They stood there for a long moment, just holding on to each other.

"Duncan, I don't know what to do." Veronica told him. "I know my dad will be hurt when he finds out I'm here and besides, I... I just don't even understand him at the moment. Anyway, my mom insists that we have to leave Neptune and I don't want to go with her, but I don't know if I can stay with my dad. I don't know what to do."

"Don't worry." Duncan whispered against her hair. "We'll figure it out, I promise you. I won't let you leave me. I won't lose you too."

* * *

"Dad can we talk to you?" Duncan asked as he and Veronica stood in the doorway of his father's study.

Jake nodded, looking up from some paperwork. "Of course." He saw Veronica and paled. "Veronica."

"Veronica's here because she doesn't agree with her father." Duncan informed his own father.

"Is that true?" Jake asked quietly.

Veronica nodded. "I know you could never hurt Lilly. I love my dad, but he's wrong."

Jake smiled slightly. "Thank you for that." He looked at her seriously. "Still, it can't be easy, standing against your own father."

"No." Veronica agreed. "But I don't really have a choice, do I? It has to be one or the other and he's wrong."

It wasn't that simple, but she couldn't put into words how hard the decision had been. How much, even now she was wondering if it was the right one.

"There's a problem, though." Duncan told his father. "Mrs. Mars wants to leave town, because of everything, and Veronica doesn't want to go with her, but she doesn't think she can stay with her father either."

"Lianne wants to leave?" Jake asked, sounding surprised.

Veronica nodded. "She doesn't think there's anything left for us."

"But you do?" Jake asked quietly.

"My friends are here." Veronica told him. "I don't want to leave Neptune, I love it here."

Jake nodded. "I understand. Let me talk to your mother and see what I can do. In the meantime, you can stay here tonight, in one of the guest rooms. Okay?"

Veronica nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Kane."

She wasn't sure what it would accomplish, but it was worth a try. She couldn't leave Neptune and Duncan, she just couldn't.

* * *


	2. Part Two: Decisions

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Two- Decisions

Jake sat alone in his study after Duncan and Veronica had left.

So Veronica had decided to side with her Duncan and her friends over her father, that was a little surprising. Blood was supposed to be thicker than water.

_Maybe it is, maybe that's the point._A little voice in his head told him. _Maybe that's true, even when you don't know the blood is there._

It was an interesting thought, after all they didn't know for sure that Keith Mars **was** Veronica's father. Which lead to another problem. If she **was** _his_ daughter, then her relationship with Duncan, which looked serious, needed to end.

Jake sighed, Celeste was right, they needed a DNA test and they needed it now. He'd make sure that was taken care of quickly, but first things first.

Jake picked up the phone and dialled Lianne's cell phone.

"Hello?" She answered, sounding wary.

"Lianne, it's Jake." He said, though he knew he didn't have to introduce himself to her. At least he shouldn't have to, not after all these years.

"Jake, this is not..."

"It's about Veronica." Jake told her quietly.

He knew that she didn't really want to talk to him, they'd made the decision months ago to end their affair and they'd been avoiding one another.

Not that that had worked any of the other times they'd tried to end things, in fact if Celeste hadn't shown up at the Neptune Grand the day that Lilly had died, Jake was sure that he and Lianne would have ended up in bed together. They just weren't very good at resisting their feelings.

But now with everything going on with him and Keith... He could understand Lianne's reluctance to talk to him.

"What about her?" Lianne demanded.

"She's here, Lianne." Jake informed her. "She told me that she thinks Keith's wrong and that she wants me to know that she knows I didn't kill Lilly. She said that you want to leave Neptune, but that she wants to stay, she's just not sure if she wants to live with Keith."

"She said that?" Lianne asked, sounding shocked.

"Yes." Jake confirmed. "Lianne, is it true that you're leaving?" 

"It's for the best, Jake." Lianne told him. "I can't stay in this town. I don't want to stay in this town and I think Veronica would be better off somewhere else."

"Away from Duncan and her friends?" Jake challenged. "She needs stability Lianne."

"It's so complicated, Jake, you know that." Lianne said wearily. "I'm not even sure she should be with Duncan, neither of us are."

"I know and we need to clear that up, to find out for sure one way or another." Jake said. "But first, I want to do what's best for Veronica and I have an idea..."  
---

"What!" Celeste exclaimed later that night, glaring at him. "Please, tell me you're kidding."

"It makes sense, Celeste." Jake said calmly.

"No, it does **not** make sense." Celeste said angrily. "You want me to invite Lianne Mars' daughter into my home?"

"Yes." Jake told her. "She stood up for this family against her own father. Her mother wants to leave Neptune, something that should make you happy, and she can't bear to go and because she's siding with us, she can't stay with her father."

"Who might not really be her father." Celeste pointed out. "What then?"

"Then, she's my daughter." Jake said quietly. "I'll have DNA tests done, but it doesn't change things. If they're negative, then everything goes on as before and we welcome her into this home as a guest. If it's positive, then she's my daughter and we'll treat her as such."

"Lianne's really leaving?" Celeste asked him, as if she was unable to believe what she was hearing. 

"She doesn't want to stay, Celeste." Jake said quietly.

Nothing he could say to Lianne could persuade her differently and part of him wondered if she wasn't right to go and he certainly had no right to make her stay. No matter how much he might want to.

"I don't really have a say in this, do I?" Celeste asked bitterly.

"No." Jake told her. "I've made up my mind, this is for the best."  
---

_Saturday, November 15th, 2005_

"Veronica, I talked to your mother." Jake told her. He, Duncan, Veronica, and Celeste were in the Kane family room.

Veronica looked hopeful. "Will she stay?"

"No." Jake told her. "She wants to leave Neptune, but she did say you could stay."

"But where?" Duncan asked for Veronica.

"Here." Celeste answered coldly. She was still furious at the idea, but had reluctantly consented.

"Here?" Duncan and Veronica had said in unison.

"You'd live here for at least the next year and come next summer, we would reevaluate." Jake told her. "There would be some conditions, of course, but we think it could work."

"What conditions?" Duncan asked. 

"No sex in this house, preferably no sex anywhere, but none in this house." Jake told them.

"Dad, we're not..." Duncan protested, blushing furiously.

Jake fought a sigh of relief. That was good to know, considering everything.

"Good." He answered. "Keep it that way. I'd also rather you stay out of one another's bedrooms. If you can't do that, then at least keep the door open. That's non-negotiable."

Duncan made a face, but neither he nor Veronica protested.

"Secondly, Veronica your mother wants you to visit her every other weekend and call her every day." 

"Of course." Veronica answered.

"Your mother also wants you to still visit your father." Jake told her. That actually depended on the results of the DNA test. If Keith wasn't Veronica's father, then there was no need for them to keep in contact, but otherwise, it was necessary.

"Are you okay with that?" Veronica asked quietly.

Jake nodded. "He is your father. You need to keep a relationship with him." 

"Okay." Veronica agreed. "Is that it?" 

"Those are the major ones." Jake told her. "You'll follow the same rules as Duncan regarding curfew and other restrictions, of course, all right?"

Veronica nodded. "Thank you so much." She told him. "You too, Mrs. Kane. I really appreciate this."  
---


	3. Part Three: The News Is Out

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Three- The News Is Out

_Monday, November 17th, 2003  
_  
"Your parents are actually letting your girlfriend move in with you?" Logan asked in disbelief.

Duncan and Logan were standing in front of Duncan's locker, before class started and Duncan was filling Logan in on the new situation.

Veronica was calling in sick that day, to get things settled, leaving Duncan to explain their new circumstances to everyone. There had been a lot of harsh whispers last week and she didn't want to face that until everything was explained.

"Not exactly." Duncan answered. "Well, they are, but not like that. Sex is forbidden."

"Sex is always forbidden." Logan told him. "You just work around it and your parents are making it a lot easier."

Duncan didn't say anything. He and Veronica were waiting for the right time and Logan knew that, even if he did keep urging Duncan to just get it over with.

"So, how is she?" Logan asked. "I guess it must be rough, standing against her dad and all and her mom deciding to take off."

"She's hanging in there." Duncan told him. "This is really hard on her, having to choose."

Logan nodded, but didn't say anything. He had been guilty of being one of the hardest on Veronica, one of the ones pressing her to make a choice.

"So when does she move in?" He asked after a moment.

"She's already in." Duncan said. "She just has to grab the rest of her stuff, but she's more or less moved in. I think it's easier that way. I think her dad is really hurt."

* * *

"Hi, Duncan." Shelley Pomroy said at lunch, a little more friendly than usual.

Duncan smiled at her warily. "Hi, Shelley."

"I was so sorry to hear about you and Veronica, it was so horrible." Shelley told him sweetly.

Duncan stared at her. "Huh?"

"Oh, Duncan, you don't have to hide it." Shelley assured him. "We all know about how her father mishandled Lilly's case, what he accused your father of... Of course, you wouldn't want to date his daughter."

"You think Veronica and I broke up?" Duncan asked her.

"Didn't you?" Caitlin Ford asked, from the other side of Shelley. "She's not here and given what happened, we all assumed..."

"You assumed wrong." Logan said coldly, before Duncan could answer. "Veronica knows where her loyalties are. With us, with the Kanes."

"Are you saying that she doesn't support her father?" Dick Casablancas asked curiously.

"I'm saying just that." Logan answered.

"Veronica moved in with my family." Duncan told them all, since it was going to get out sooner or later anyway. "Her mom is leaving Neptune and she doesn't want to live with her dad, so my parents are letting her stay with us."

There were a few raised eyebrows and Shelley didn't look pleased, but no one said anything. Duncan didn't expect them too.

Neptune's social ladder worked all too well and he and Logan were at the top. What they said went. Veronica would have no problems here.

* * *

"How was school today?" Veronica asked as soon as Duncan got home.

"Everyone thought you and I had broken up." Duncan told her. "I assured them differently."

Veronica nodded. "That's to be natural. I'm sure they were all on your side, not mine."

Duncan didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say, Veronica was right, of course. Everyone had been prepared to turn their backs on her without a second thought.

"It's okay." Veronica told him. "I understand their anger."

"Well, they know that they're wrong." Duncan told her. "No one's going to say anything to you tomorrow, they're all going to be very supportive."

Veronica nodded. Then she paused. "Duncan, the police called. They've caught Lilly's killer."

Duncan let out a sigh and wrapped his arms around Veronica. He didn't know what to say.

He was glad. Glad that this might be over so quickly, but he felt bad for Veronica. It was further evidence that her father had been wrong.

So, they just stood there, holding each other and thinking of Lilly.

* * *


	4. Part Four: Facing Keith

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Four- Facing Keith

Keith stood in his living room, watching the TV.

The last few days had been painful at best. Lianne had announced that she was leaving, with or without him and he hadn't seen Veronica in days.

He knew where she was, of course, even though part of him couldn't believe it. She was at the Kane's.

Lianne had told him everything.

He didn't think he would recover from that particular conversation.

_"Where's Veronica?" Keith asked Friday evening._

_"She's not here." Lianne told him. "And she's not coming back, Keith."_

_"Of course she is, she's 16." Keith reminded his wife. "She just can't leave. Where is she Lianne?"_

_"She's at the Kane's." Lianne told him quietly. "She went there on her own. To offer them her support. Jake called me and told me that Veronica had come to him for help."_

_Keith couldn't believe what he was hearing. No, it couldn't be true. Not his little girl._

_"Help?" He repeated, disbelievingly. "What kind of **help**?"_

_"She knows that I intend to leave Neptune. I'm not staying here, not now." Lianne told him. "And she doesn't want to leave, but she doesn't..."_

_"She doesn't what?" Keith asked. "She doesn't want to live with me?"_

_"I think she's confused, Keith." Lianne told him. "All she knows is that her best friend is dead and her father is determined to try and take down Lilly's family. Her friends are making her choose and there's Duncan and she's only 16." _

_Keith was silent, not sure what to say. He knew in his gut he had been right to go after Jake Kane, but that didn't make it easier. _

_"Lianne, I know that the Kane's are involved, nothing seem to fit." He told her._

_"Is that true?" Lianne asked him. "Or are you just determined to go after Jake because of me?"_

_For the first time since Keith had discovered his wife's treachery, her affair with Jake Kane was out in the open between them._

_"I'm not that petty, Lianne." Keith told her now._

_"Maybe you are, but you just don't want to admit it." Lianne told him. "Why can't you face it? You went after Jake Kane in revenge for my imperfections." _

_"Does Veronica think that?" Keith asked, not bothering to respond._

_"No, she doesn't know about Jake and I." Lianne commented. "She made the decision on her own, Keith. This is what she wants."_

It was then that Lianne had informed him that Jake had suggested that Veronica live with them for the rest of the school year, at least.

Keith had been adamant against that, but Lianne commented that he didn't have a choice. It had gotten ugly then, with Keith finally voicing years of suspicions and Lianne not denying them.

She admitted that she had no idea who Veronica's father was and it might very well be Jake. There was going to be a DNA test, she told him, because they had to know because of Duncan and Veronica.

But, it didn't change anything, at least not in Jake's eyes. Either way, Veronica was going to live with the Kane's. Either as their guest and Duncan's girlfriend or as Jake Kane's daughter.

Keith didn't know what to say, he knew that if the DNA test was negative, he had a legal right, but what did that matter when his own daughter apparently wanted nothing to do with him? She hadn't talked to him at all since she had gone to the Kane's.

Suddenly, he was distracted by the television and the announcement that Lilly Kane's killer had been arrested.

Keith closed his eyes and gave a bitter laugh.

It really was all over and he had been left in the dust with nothing, while Jake Kane had come up on top again.

* * *

_Tuesday, November 18th, 2005_

Keith watched his daughter, not sure what to say. Veronica had finally returned, with Duncan and Jake Kane in tow, to pick up the rest of her belongings.

She was leaving and Keith couldn't do a damn thing about it. Lianne was there too, just as silent.

No one had said anything since Veronica and the Kane men had shown up.

Lianne was leaving in the next few days as well, Keith didn't know where she was going and didn't care. Their marriage was over, no question. She was just staying long enough to get Veronica settled, or that was what she had informed him, anyway.

He'd be moving soon, himself, since there was no way he'd be able to afford the payments on this house. Besides, without his family, there was no point anyway.

He wasn't leaving Neptune, though, he might be down, but he wasn't beaten and Keith Mars wasn't a quitter, no matter who was against him.

Maybe he had lost everything: His job, his wife, his daughter, his house, but he still had his self-respect and he wasn't going to let them run him out of town. He couldn't leave like that.

"Duncan, do you think you could give me a moment?" Veronica asked suddenly, speaking for the first time. "You and your dad?"

"Of course." Duncan answered, giving Veronica a quick kiss. "We'll be in your room."

Then he and Jake left the room, leaving the Mars family alone.

"I'm sorry." Veronica told him quietly. "I did what I have too. What Lilly would have wanted me to do."

"I understand." Keith said, even though he didn't.

Veronica nodded. "I guess, there's nothing else to say." She said quietly. "I'll visit sometimes."

Keith nodded, not sure whether that was a good thing or not, but knowing he'd need her in his life as much as he could have her.

With that, Veronica turned and walked away, to where the Kane men waited for her. She had made her choice and all Keith could do was watch her walk away.

* * *


	5. Part Five: A New Home

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Five- A New Home

Celeste watched as Jake and Duncan carried the boxes into the house.

The boxes containing Veronica's things.

She still couldn't believe that she had agreed to this, to let Lianne Mars' daughter live in her home. But Jake had been determined and what choice did she have really?

Lilly would have enjoyed this, she knew that. Lilly loved watching her squirm. Of course, Lilly wasn't there and that was one of the reasons this was happening.

In more ways than one.

She wondered if Jake was even aware of what he was doing, replacing one daughter with another--who may or may not even be his.

"Thank you again, Mrs. Kane." Veronica said, coming up to her, a box in her arms. "This means a lot to me."

"Don't mention." Celeste said coldly.

Veronica studied for a moment and then nodded and scurried away.

Celeste watched her, wondering how she was going to bare that girl's presence constantly.

She didn't hate Veronica Mars, she just couldn't stand the sight of her. After all, Veronica was a representation of all that was wrong in her life.

* * *

Veronica sat in her new bedroom, unpacking boxes.

Her bedroom, she couldn't believe that. She was living in the Kane mansion, at least for the next year.

It didn't feel like home and she doubted it ever would. But at least it was a place to stay, a place that meant she didn't have to leave Duncan. Her room was on the other end of the house from his, done strategically, of course.

It had been a guest room until now and it was large and well-decorated and had a private bath. It was more room than she'd had before, but she wished more than anything she wasn't here.

She wanted to go back to her room at home and she wanted it to be a month ago. Back when everything had been okay in her world.

Suddenly there was a quick knock and then her door opened.

"Everything okay in here?" Duncan asked quietly.

Veronica nodded and shot him a shaky smile. "It's just different."

"Yeah." Duncan agreed. "It was hard seeing your dad, huh?"

"Yeah." Veronica said, not being able to put into words what it had been like.

She had felt so guilty for the choice she had made and not at all sure it had been the right one. He was her father after all, how could she stand against him?

Then she looked up at Duncan and was reminded of why she had made her choice. She hadn't been able to bear to give up Duncan and her friends and she had to stand by Lilly's memory.

"I love you." She whispered, because she needed to say the words.

"I love you, too." Duncan told her, taking her in his arms. "Always."

He smiled. "The circumstances suck, but it will be kind of nice having you around all the time."

Veronica returned the smile. "Yeah, that will be nice."

She cuddled against Duncan and tried to tune out her inner doubts. She had made her choice and it was too late to turn back.

* * *

Lianne saw Veronica safely delivered to the Kane estate and returned to the house to pack her own boxes.

It was time for her to leave as well. She wasn't going too far, she couldn't abandon Veronica, but she was leaving Neptune. She'd only be an hour or two away, close enough to see Veronica frequently, but far enough to have a new start.

She wasn't certain she was making the best decisions, but then that had never been her strong suit.

She felt bad for leaving Keith, she had never been what he had deserved, but she just couldn't stay in this town and their marriage had been crumbling for a long time. They both knew that.

She wasn't all that sure about Veronica living with Jake and Celeste, but what other choice was there? It made sense and it made Veronica happy, but there was a chance of it opening such a can of worms.

Lianne was afraid of what the DNA test would reveal and that Veronica was going to end up hating her. But, they had to do the test, because of Duncan and Veronica. If they were siblings, they had to be told now, before something happened between them.

Lianne knew that something should have been done over a year ago, when Duncan and Veronica started dating, but neither she nor Jake had wanted to open that can of worms. They had been convinced that it would blow over quickly, like high school romances often did, but it hadn't. It had kept growing deeper and Lianne knew that damage had already been done, that Duncan and Veronica were already in love.

She watched them together, it was real and it was strong and if the DNA tests showed that Jake was Veronica's father, it was going to destroy them both.

Which was why she wasn't sure that Veronica should be living under the same roof as Duncan, but she'd hold her peace until the results were back and then they'd deal with it then.

* * *


	6. Part Six: Back to School

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Six- Back to School

_Wednesday, November 19th, 2003_

Veronica walked into Neptune High for the first time in a few days.

She had planned on going back yesterday, but then with the news about Lilly's killer, Mr. Kane, Jake, as he was insisting she call him, had thought it was best if both she and Duncan missed the day. Now they were back.

They walked down the halls, hand in hand, and Veronica was aware of the looks that they were getting and of the whispers.

"Everyone's talking about us." She whispered to Duncan.

"That's just because you're the prettiest girl in school." He told her, leaning down to kiss her gently as they reached her locker. "And I'm the luckiest guy here."

Veronica just smiled, she knew that wasn't it at all, but it was nice to pretend.

"Hey, Veronica, are you going to pep squad practice today?" Caitlin wanted to know as she and Shelley appeared from behind Duncan.

Veronica bit her lip.

Last week, there had been suggestions that she wasn't wanted on pep squad and now they were going to pretend that all was normal again. Part of her hated it, but she just wanted her life to go back to normal and pep squad was part of that.

"Of course." She answered enthusiastically. "I've missed so many practices, I need to get back in the swing of things."

* * *

Lunch was normal.

There were a lot of stares and more whispers from the rest of the school, but all the 09ers acted as if nothing had happened. Nobody mentioned her father or Lilly's murder, they just talked about stupid, normal things.

Veronica sat there, holding Duncan's hand and chattering to Madison Sinclair about the newest gossip. It felt good.

Sort of.

The whole time, she was aware of how much she missed Lilly. Everything was back to normal, except it wasn't, because there was no Lilly.

"Veronica, are you okay?" Madison asked her, with fake concern.

Veronica forced a smile. "Of course, I was just dreading English."

Everyone at the table laughed.

Duncan squeezed her hand tight, to let her know that he knew she was lying and that he understood what she was really feeling.

She squeezed his hand back and then focused on Madison again.

It did no good to dwell on the past. Lilly was gone and she wasn't coming back. Nothing was going to change that.

* * *

After school, Duncan and Veronica drove home together.

"This feels a little strange." She told him.

"What does?" He asked. "The fact that you and I are living in the same place."

"Just a bit, huh?" Duncan replied. "I mean, I'm cool with it. _Very_ cool with it, but it does take some getting used to."

"It was really nice of your parents to let me stay there." Veronica commented. "I really appreciate it."

"So do I." Duncan commented. "I like having you around Veronica, it makes things easier."

"It does." She agreed. "But it's weird living in your house... I keep seeing Lilly everywhere."

"Me too." Duncan agreed. "I can't even walk by her room."

"Me neither." Veronica told him. "It seems so strange. I'm living there and Lilly's not. I miss her **so** much."

* * *


	7. Part Seven: Back to Normal?

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Author's Notes in Part One._

Part Seven- Back to Normal?

_Tuesday, December 2nd, 2003_

"So, Shelley's party is on Saturday night." Duncan reminded her after school as they drove back to the Kane estate.

Veronica nodded. "I remember."

After all, Shelley held a big party every year. Shelley's end-of-the year party, called such because it was usually one of the last parties before the Christmas break, was one of the highlights of the 09er social calender.

"We're going?" Veronica asked, even though it wasn't a question. She knew everyone expected her and Duncan to go to the party, after all _everyone_ would be there.

"Of course." Duncan answered, though he didn't sound that enthusiastic.

Veronica knew why. "This'll be the first party since..."

"Yeah." Duncan agreed. "We knew it would happen and she'd want us to go."

"That's true." Veronica agreed. "But it's so soon."

It had been two months since Lilly had died and not quite a month since Veronica had moved in with the Kanes.

She was getting used to living there. Jake, as he had insisted she call him, was great, Celeste was a cold to her as ever, but at least she was polite and being around Duncan all the time was the best medicine Veronica could think of. Even if it hurt to be in that house without Lilly.

Everything was weird these days. She saw her mom most weekends and had seen her dad twice for dinner and both times had been really awkward. She just didn't know what to say to him. He was her dad and she loved and she felt so guilty for siding against him, but what choice had she had?

Still, besides those things, life was slowly going back to 'normal'. Or as normal as they'd ever be without Lilly, and that hurt. Just the idea of going to a party without Lilly hurt and yet, Veronica knew they'd have to do it sooner or later.

"We don't have to go." Duncan said quietly.

"Yes, we do." Veronica told him.

She knew that everyone would expect them to attend and maybe it would be good for them to get out. Maybe.

* * *

_Saturday, December 6th, 2003_

"You kids look great." Jake said as Duncan and Veronica got ready to leave for the party.

"Thank you, Jake." Veronica answered as she and Duncan made their way to the front door.

"Have fun and be safe." Jake called out as they left. He watched them go.

He was glad to see them going out, that things were getting back to normal. Or at least, that they were starting to.

It was still so soon after Lilly's death, too soon for things to be entirely normal, but he was glad that they were making an effort. He thought it was good that they were going to this party, that they were going out and being social.

He also really enjoyed having Veronica around. She had been living there almost a month now and she filled a little of the hole left by Lilly. Not all of it, of course, not even close, but she had made it a little easier.

Of course, he still had to find out who her father was. He had finally sent away the DNA test a couple of weeks before and would know for sure in a few days whether or not she was his child.

* * *

"Hey you guys!" Logan greeted them, when they arrived at the party. 

Veronica had to assume from his enthusiasm that he'd already made his share of visits to the bar already. Of course, she knew that he'd also been in Tijuanna recently with Luke and Sean and that he'd scored some liquid X, so that could explain it as well.

"Hey, Logan." Veronica answered quietly.

Duncan smiled slightly and then looked at Veronica. "Want a drink?"

"Oh, yeah." Veronica murmured, knowing that she'd need plenty of fortification to get through the night. A thought she was sure that Logan and Duncan shared.

"I'll get it." Duncan told her and disappeared into the crowd.

"This sucks." Logan said suddenly. "It's just not the same without her."

"No, it couldn't be." Veronica told him. "She was the life of every party after all."

She and Logan were both silent, as they thought about Lilly. Veronica wondered how in the Hell she was going to get through this night. Lilly had only been dead seven weeks, so what were they doing at a party, trying to pretend everything was normal? It wasn't right.

Just then, Duncan appeared with a drink in each hand. He handed one to Veronica.

She took it gratefully and chugged it down. She knew how she'd survive this night, with artificial happiness, and with Duncan.

She looked up at him and knew that as long as he was there, she could bear anything. They'd be there for each other, now and always.

* * *


	8. Part Eight: First Times

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Eight- First Times

Several hours later, Veronica sat nestled in Duncan's arms, half-asleep.

Duncan kissed the top of her head. He was feeling pretty sleepy himself and definitely feeling the affects of all the alcohol he had consumed. He was also in no shape to drive home and neither was Veronica.

He carefully moved Veronica off of his lap and stood up and looked around for Shelley.

"Hey, Shelley!" He called out when he found her.

"Yeah?" Shelley asked, smiling warmly at him.

"Can we go and crash somewhere?" Duncan asked him. "I don't think Veronica or I could drive home tonight."

Shelley's smiled dimmed. "Sure." She said stiffly. "There's a guest room on the first floor that I don't think anyone's using."

Duncan nodded. "Thanks."

He made his way back to Veronica and tapped her on the shoulder.

"Hey, want to go somewhere quieter?" He asked her.

"With you anywhere." She told him, standing up, though a little shakily.

Duncan wrapped his arm around her waist and led her into the house. He found an empty guest room and helped her to the bed and then closed the door behind them.

"We're not supposed to be in bedrooms with the doors closed." Veronica reminded him.

Duncan grinned. "That's just at home. Dad didn't say anything about at other people's places."

He joined Veronica on the bed.

"You should get some sleep." He told her.

"I don't want to sleep." She told him with a smile.

"You were falling asleep a few minutes ago." He reminded her lightly, running his fingers through her hair.

"There were other people around a few minutes ago." She pointed out. "Now, it's just the two of us and suddenly, I don't feel sleepy at all."

Veronica leaned up and kissed him, he kissed her back. God, he loved her so much.

After a few minutes, Duncan pulled away. "We need to stop."

"Why?" Veronica asked softly, sitting up. "Why do we need to stop?"

"Because, I don't want it to be like this." Duncan told her, kissing her gently. "I want it to be perfect."

"Life's not perfect, Duncan." Veronica told him. "But as long as it's you, it'll be perfect. I don't want to wait. Life's too short to wait."

"Veronica, you don't know what you're saying." Duncan said, knowing how much she'd had to drink that night.

"Yes, I do." Veronica told him.

"You're drunk." Duncan said lightly.

"So?" Veronica asked. "Even if I was sober, I'd feel the same way, I just might not be able to say it. I want to make love with you and Duncan, I've wanted it for a while. Why do we keep waiting?"

Duncan knew he should keep arguing with her. This wasn't what he had planned. But she looked so beautiful and he loved her **so** much.

Unable to stop himself, he kissed her again.

"Are you sure?" He asked, as she undid his shirt.

"I want you." She told him, standing up, long enough for him to undo her white dress.

She stepped out of it and stepped towards him, in just her bra and panties.

"I love you." She told him.

"I love you." He said, kissing her and pushing her onto the bed, so that he was on top of her. "I will always love you."

* * *

_Sunday, December 7th, 2003_

Veronica woke up and her head was pounding.

It took her a minute to realize where she was and as soon as that happened, she became aware of two other things.

One, being that she was naked; and the other that she wasn't alone. She was nestled in Duncan's arms and he was just as naked as she was. Suddenly, she remembered the events of the night before. She and Duncan had made love.

She smiled to herself at the memory of Duncan's touch. She didn't regret it, even if she wouldn't have picked Shelley Pomroy's guest room as the place to lose her virginity. Still, she loved Duncan and she wanted to be with him, completely.

Suddenly, Duncan stirred.

"Hey there." He said, seeing that she was awake as well. His arms tightened around her.

"How do you feel?" He asked her gently, his eyes full of loving concern.

"Wonderful." She told him softly. She smiled at him. "I have no regrets, what about you?"

"None." Duncan said, leaning over to kiss her softly. "I love you."

"I love you." She replied, cuddling up in his arms. "This is perfect. Waking up like this, together, makes it perfect."

"No, you make it perfect." Duncan told her. "You look so beautiful, right now. The most beautiful girl, I've ever seen and I'm the luckiest guy in the world, because I get to wake up next to you."

* * *

Celeste looked at her watch impatiently.

Where were Duncan and Veronica? They should have been home last night and here it was almost noon and they hadn't returned yet.

"Celeste, calm down." Jake told her. "Obviously, they just decided to stay at Shelley's last night."

Celeste knew that, she just wasn't calm about as it Jake. Duncan didn't usually do things like this. He was her good child, her predictable child, unlike Lilly... And as much as Celeste didn't like her, she had to admit that Veronica was a very dependable young woman.

So, for them to start acting like Lilly, it was disturbing. Of course, Lilly herself could be the reason. Both Veronica and Duncan had lost someone dear to them and that might explain why they were acting out.

It would be perfectly normal.

Just then, the car pulled up and Duncan and Veronica got out, both looking sheepish.

There was something else, something that bothered Celeste, about the way they were looking at one another. It was as if no one else in the world existed and it made her uncomfortable.

She shook it off and went to scold the twosome for being late.

* * *


	9. Part Nine: Talking About It

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Rating in Part One._

Part Nine- Talking About It

"So you and Veronica crashed over at Shelley's last night." Logan commented as he and Duncan hung out at the Echolls pool.

After they had gotten home, Veronica had headed off to spend the afternoon with her mother. Since he hadn't felt like staying at home with his parents, he was almost certain his mom suspected something, Duncan had chosen to go hang out at Logan's instead.

"Yeah, so what?" Duncan replied. "You ended up passing out on the patio."

"While you and Veronica had a nice guest room to yourselves." Logan pointed out.

Duncan didn't say anything. What was there to say? Logan seemed to accurately read his silence.

"Did something actually happen between you and Veronica?" Logan asked in disbelief. "Wow. Dude, I thought you'd grow old before you actually did something."

"We were waiting for the perfect moment." Duncan said, blushing.

Logan raised an eyebrow. "And the perfect moment was at a party when you were both inebriated?"

Duncan blushed deeper. "Not exactly. But in the end it **was **perfect because it was Veronica and it was me and we love each other and it was also going to be perfect, no matter where or when it happened."

"So I assume it was good?" Logan asked with a grin.

"It was perfect." Duncan told him.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Man, you sound like a girl. But it's good to know that you and Veronica have finally made it passed the 'hand-holding' stage. I was starting to worry, you know."

* * *

Veronica really wanted to tell someone about her and Duncan, but who was there to tell? 

She wanted to tell Lilly, she told Lilly everything, but Lilly was gone. She didn't have any other close female friends and she couldn't tell her mom.

So, the news was still burning inside of her Sunday night when she returned to the Kane Mansion. She fell asleep with that thought on her mind.

How much she wanted to tell Lilly...

_/"So you and Donut finally did it!" Lilly squealed. "I thought it'd never happen." _

_"Lilly?" Veronica asked in disbelief._

_Lilly rolled her eyes. "Who else, Veronica?"_

_"But you're..."_

_"Dead, I know." Lilly answered her. "Doesn't mean, I still can't be here once in a while. I mean who else are you going to share these things with?"_

_"No one." Veronica agreed._

_"So how was it?" Lilly asked her. "And keep in mind that it **is** my brother you're talking about."_

_"It was perfect." Veronica told her dreamily. "But then it was Duncan, so how could it be anything else?"_

_"You're such a romantic, Veronica Mars." Lilly said, rolling her eyes. "But I'm glad you and my brother finally took it to the next step. It was about time."/_

Veronica woke up suddenly.

"Lilly?" She whispered, it had felt so real. Like she had actually been talking to Lilly, telling her about being with Duncan.

But, of course, it had been just a dream. Lilly was dead after all.

Veronica bit her lip, to stop the tears from coming down. If only she could really talk to Lilly one more time...

* * *

_Monday, December 8th, 2003_

"Did you sleep well last night?" Duncan asked as they drove to school.

Veronica shook her head. "Not really. I had some weird dreams."

Duncan nodded. "Yeah, I get those too. Mom got me some pills, maybe you need some too."

His mother had gotten the doctor to prescribe anti-depressants and sleeping pills on top of his other medication.

Veronica nodded. "Maybe."

Duncan looked at her, she looked really pale. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Veronica shook her head. "No, there's no point. It was just dreams."

Duncan knew that she must have dreamt about Lilly, he did too, on the nights when he didn't take the pills.

It was why he took the pills, all the different pills, so he wouldn't dream about his sister or see her when she wasn't there.

He just patted Veronica's hand sympathetically, not sure what else to say or do. There was no easy way to deal with memories of Lilly, he knew that and he was sure that Veronica did too.

* * *


	10. Part Ten: New Friends

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Ten- New Friends

_Thursday, December 11th, 2003_

"Hey Veronica." Veronica looked up to see Meg Manning standing by her locker.

Meg was another one of the 09er girls. Veronica didn't know her all that well, but she really liked her. In fact, she thought that Meg might be the one of the only really nice people in the 09er circle.

"Hey, Meg." Veronica greeted with a smile.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me after school?" Meg asked her. "I need a new pair of shoes desperately. So what do you say?"

Veronica smiled, thankful for the friendly gesture. She didn't know what prompted Meg to make it, but she was grateful anyway. She needed a female friend, like Lilly had been, and it seemed Meg was willing to make the gesture.

That was more than any of the girls had been. They'd all been nice in a superficial way, just like they always had been, but none of them had made any real gestures to reach out to her. 

"That sounds like fun." Veronica agreed with a smile.

Meg grinned. "Great. Then we'll meet after school and go in search of the perfect pair of shoes."

Veronica nodded. "I can't wait."

And she couldn't. It would be nice to do something as normal as shopping for a pair of shoes.

* * *

"Duncan, don't wait for me after school." Veronica told him at lunch.

Duncan frowned. "Why not?" He and Veronica always drove to and from school together, it was one of the perks of living in the same place.

"I'm going shopping with Meg." Veronica explained.

"Meg Manning?" Duncan asked, he hadn't known that Veronica and Meg were that good of friends.

"Yeah, she asked me if I wanted to go with her and I thought it might be fun." Veronica explained.

Duncan nodded and smiled. "Well, it doesn't sound like _my_ idea of a good time, but..."

Veronica hit him on the shoulder. "Well, no one's inviting you."

"Have fun, baby." Duncan told her, giving her a quick kiss.

He was glad that Veronica was spending time with one of the other girls from school. It was good for her and Meg was a nice girl. Duncan didn't know her very well, but he liked her and he was glad that she'd seemed to sense that Veronica needed a friend.

* * *

"What do you think of these ones?" Meg asked, holding up a pair of shoes for Veronica to inspect.

Veronica considered them. "I like them." She said finally. "But I'd think they be better in like a blue."

Meg looked at the purple shoes and then nodded. "I think you're right."

Meg was glad that she'd given in to impulse and invited Veronica to go shopping with her. She'd never really known Veronica that well, even tough they'd gone to school together for ages now and hung out in the same crowd. They were even on pep squad together, yet they had never really connected.

But, Meg had always wanted to know Veronica better and she just looked so alone these days, so Meg had reached out to her. She was glad that she did. She was having a lot of fun shopping with Veronica.

In fact, she had a feeling that this afternoon was just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. She certainly hoped so.

* * *


	11. Part Eleven: Fathers

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._  
  
Part Eleven- Fathers

_Friday, December 12th, 2003_

Keith looked at it his daughter. Veronica had met him for supper, but it wasn't going well. They didn't seem to know what to say to each other, as they stared at each other across the table.

"I'm going to open a detective agency." He said finally. "Mars Investigations."

"Sounds interesting." Veronica said quietly. "So you're staying in Neptune?"

"I won't be run out of town, Veronica." Keith said quietly. "Besides, you're here and I'm still you're father." 

Maybe.

Lianne had told him that Jake was having the tests done, the tests that would determine whether or not Keith would have any claim on the young woman sitting in front of him.

He wanted to believe that the tests meant nothing and that either way, Veronica would still be his daughter, but he knew that wasn't true. 

He was already losing her and if the test proved that she was Jake Kane's daughter, then he'd have no hold on her whatsoever and she'd be gone and he'd have lost everything.

* * *

"How was dinner with your dad?" Duncan asked when Veronica got home.

She shrugged. "Awkward. Neither of us knew what to say." 

Duncan winced, he felt bad for Veronica. He knew that she felt guilty for siding against her father, but he also believed that she had done the right thing.

Duncan knew that his father had had nothing to do with Lilly's death and still couldn't believe that Keith Mars could have thought so.

But no matter what had motivated Keith Mars, he was still Veronica's father. He knew her mom was insisting on her spending time with her dad and Veronica did it, she loved her dad, even if she had chosen not to live with him.

But these dinner,s this had been the third one, were hard on her. She always came back in a quiet, unhappy mood and Duncan hated to see it. 

"It's not your fault, baby." Duncan whispered into her hair, as he held Veronica close. He wanted to make all the bad things go away for her.

She sent him a grateful glance. "Thanks. It's just so hard."

"I know." Duncan told her, stroking her hair. "I know, but I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

Veronica looked up at with soft eyes. "I know."

* * *

_Saterday, December 13th, 2003_

Jake stood in his study, holding the envelope with the paternity test results in his hands. The results that could change all their lives.

He paused, wondering what he wanted the test to say. Did he want it to say that Veronica was his daughter, further destroying Duncan and Veronica's lives? Or did he want the test results to be negative and everything could go on as it was?

He should want them to be negative, but in the weeks that she'd been living there, he'd gotten attached to Veronica. She hadn't taken Lilly's place, she could never do that, but she had eased a little bit of his pain.

He'd be proud to claim her as his daughter, any man would. But, the question was **was **she his daughter?

For his son's sake, he hoped not, but for his own he kind of wanted the answer to be yes. It was more than his attachment to Veronica. She was Lianne's daughter, no matter who her father was, and some part of Jake wanted Veronica to be his for that reason alone.

He wasn't sure he'd ever really gotten over Lianne. After all, if he had then he wouldn't have had an affair with her all these years. No, she still had some hold over him, some magic pull that no other woman would ever have, despite everything that had happened between them.

Jake sighed, he couldn't put it off any longer. He had to know.

He opened the envelope and looked at the results, then started to cry as he read them. He hadn't realized until that moment how much he had been hoping that she was his daughter.

But she wasn't.

He didn't have a daughter, not anymore.

* * *


	12. Part Twelve: Truth

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One._

Part Twelve- Truth

"The results are in." Lianne heard Jake's words and gripped the telephone tight in her hand.

"Yes?" She asked nervously.

After all these years, they'd finally know for sure. A part of Lianne didn't want to know the truth, had never really wanted to know.

It was easier if Veronica was Keith's daughter. Then, Lianne hadn't failed her husband quite so badly, then she wasn't going to rip Veronica's life apart even more. 

But on the other hand, Lianne knew that a part of her had always hoped that Jake was Veronica's father. She had loved Jake so much once, maybe a part of her still did, and she wanted her child to be his.

Theirs.

She knew that was selfish, but she couldn't help how she felt. Of course, that was how they had gotten in this mess in the first place, because she and Jake couldn't help themselves.

"She's Keith's daughter." Jake told her, his voice quiet.

Lianne could hear the quiet pain in his voice and knew in that instant she wasn't the only who had been secretly hoping for another result.

"Oh, Jake." Lianne whispered softly. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah, me too." Jake said finally. "But this is what we wanted, isn't it?"

"It's for the best." Lianne told him. "But it's not what I wanted and it's not what you wanted either."

"No." Jake agreed.

"It's not. How'd you know?" Lianne smiled then. "Because, Jake, after all these years, I know you as well I know myself. Didn't you know that?"

* * *

"The test results came." Jake told Celeste after he got off the phone with Lianne. 

She looked up from her book, apprehensively. "Yes?" 

The tests. After all these years, they were about to get the truth in black and white, no turning back.

But Celeste wasn't sure it mattered any more. Regardless of who her father was, Veronica Mars was in there life and she was going to stay that way. The only difference the test made was for Duncan.

"She's not mine, Celeste." Jake told her quietly.

Celeste stared at him, relieved that there was no bastard child. No proof of Jake's adultery. Yet, the sound of his voice as he'd said it...

"She might not be yours, but you wanted her to be." Celeste said quietly, secretly hoping he'd deny it. He didn't, he just looked at her.

"Celeste..."

"Don't Jake." Celeste told him, shaking her head. "We both know it's true. You wanted her to be yours, because you've never stopped loving her mother."

"I'm sorry." Was all Jake could manage.

"You're always sorry, Jake." Celeste said ruefully, thinking of all the times he had apologized because of something to do with Lianne Mars. "But I'm not sure that word has any meaning any more."

* * *

"The paternity tests are back." Lianne told Keith over the phone. "She's yours."

Keith let alone a silent prayer of thanks. Veronica was his daughter. He wasn't going to lose her. At least, not anymore than he already had. But at least now he had a legal right to see her and try and reclaim her.

"Thank you for telling me." Keith said finally, aware of Lianne's presence on the other end.

"I knew you'd want to know." Lianne said quietly.

"Lianne?"

"Yes." His wife, for he still thought of her as his wife even though she'd walked out on him and after she'd betrayed him over and over. "Were you happy with the results?"

He had to know. Lianne was quiet for a long moment.

"It worked out for the best." She said finally, not really answering his question.

But that in itself was an answer, when it really came down to it. It wasn't surprising, deep down Keith had always known how Lianne had felt about Jake Kane. Perhaps, he had been wrong all those years ago to marry a woman who was still in love with another man. But he'd loved her so much then and he loved her still, despite everything.

"Thank you for telling me." Keith said finally.

Lianne was silent for a moment. "Keith, I'm sorry. About everything." 

It was Keith's turn to be silent. "So am I, Lianne." He said finally, softly. "So am I."

* * *


	13. Part Thirteen: True Feelings

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Rating in Part One._

Part Thirteen: True Feelings

Jake stood in the doorway of Veronica's room and watched her sleep. Lianne's daughter, not his.

The truth was, these past sixteen years, he'd assumed she was his. Now, he had to accept that she wasn't.

It made a lot of things easier, but it made somethings harder. Jake hadn't realized until the meomnet he'd read the test, how much he'd counted on having Veronica as his daughter. It made Lilly's death easier, but it also seemed right, that he and Lianne should have a child. Yet, they didn't, they never had.

Jake looked at the sleeping girl and realized that, test or no test, he still considered her his. Maybe it wasn't his blood running in her veins, maybe he had no legal claim on her, but he loved her like a father loved a daughter. Anyway, now she was in his house, under his roof and that meant something, perhaps more than any DNA test could ever mean.

Besides, at least this way he wouldn't ruin her life and Duncan's.

Jake crossed the room and laid a brief kiss on Veronica's forehead. "Goodnight Princess." He told the sleeping girl.

Then, he crossed the room and stood in the doorway for another minute, just watching her sleep. His daughter, his precious little girl.

* * *

Celeste came up in time to see her husband standing in the doorway of Veronica's room. She could see the loving expression on his face and knew that the DNA test hadn't changed anything for him.

Jake still loved the girl, still considered her his, and because of that Celeste couldn't help but still view her as a symbol of everything that was wrong in her marriage. Jake loved Lianne like he had never loved her. He loved Lianne's daughter more than he had loved the daughter she had given him.

Celeste had known all of that from the beginning, but she had denied it, even to herself. She'd tried to be content being Jake's wife, even if she didn't have his heart. Now though, watching the love that poured out of him for a child that wasn't even his, she realized that she'd never been happy that way, she'd just been pretending.

Celeste finally admitted to herslef that she wanted the impossible, had always wanted it. She wanted Jake's love and devotion. She wanted the emotions that had always been reserved for Lianne Mars.

Celeste finally accepted that, but that left her with another problem. She had no idea what happened next. Now that hse knew waht she wanted, how did she continue settling for something less?

* * *


	14. Part Fourteen: Parents

  
The Choice We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and Notes in Part One.  
_  
Part Fourteen: Parents

"Your mom was like more evil than usual this morning." Veronica commented to Duncan as they drove to school.

"Yeah, I noticed she was harsher than usual with you." Duncan agreed. He had no idea what his mother's problem with his girlfriend was, but it seemed to have increased since she'd moved in on them.

If Duncan didn't know better, he'd swear his mother actually _hated_ Veronica. But that couldn't be true, could it? Why would she hate her?

"She was probably just in a bad mood." Duncan dismissed. 

"Probably." Veronica agreed, then she smiled. "Your dad was nice though. He gave me his credit card and told me to go buy some new clothes and then he asked when the next pep squad performance was, so he could make sure he was there."

Duncan frowned, that was just a weird, in a totally different way. His father was usually too busy to be actively involved in his children's lives, had barely shown up for anything of Lilly's.

Duncan shook his head, it was probably just his father's guilt. He had messed up with Lilly and now she was gone, but Veronica was there. 

"My parents are weird." Duncan told Veronica with a smile. "You'll get used to it."

Veronica laughed. "_All_ parents are weird. It's a fact of life." 

"True. Mine are just weirder than most." Duncan said with a laugh, then decided to change the subject. "What do you want to do tonight?"

* * *

"She should have been mine." Jake commented softly.

He was meeting Lianne for lunch, to discuss Veronica's custody arrangements amongst other things. Lianne was delivering the forms that gave the Kanes' legal guardianship over the girl.

Lianne looked at him sadly. "A lot of things should have been different, Jake, but they weren't and she's not."

"Not biologically." Jake agreed. "BUt I've always thought of her as mine and that hasn't changed. I love her, Lianne, because she's part of you."

"Jake..." Lianne said softly, not sure they should be having this conversation. He was a married man after all and there was too much history between them. Too many roads untaken. Yet, it felt so natural to talk to Jake. It always had.

"I screwed up twenty years ago and a million time since then." Jake told her quietly. "I should never have slept with Celeste, should have forced you to listen to me, should never have married her, should have left her after Lauren's wedding, should have walked away so many times. I kept repeating my mistakes."

"Jake..." Lianne said softly.

"I'll leave her." He said suddenly. "You give the word and I'll leave her."

Lianne closed her eyes. How many times had she wanted to hear that over the years? But the truth was, for all that she'd loved to tell him yes, she couldn't... Because, it wasn't about them anymore. They had children to think of. Duncan and Veronica needed stability, not to have their parents run off and be together.

"No." Lianne said finally. "Jake, you can't... Not now... It's too late for us." 

It was true, hard to say, but true. She loved Jake, had always loved him and would always love him, but their time had passed them by. They had both made a lot of mistakes over the years, but it was too late to fix them, too late to go back.

"I'm sorry, Jake." She said quietly.

He looked at her. "So am I, so am I."

* * *


	15. Part Fifteen: Bitter Endings

The Choices We Make  
By Misha

_Disclaimer and A.N in Part One.  
_  
Part Fifteen: Bitter Endings

"So, should I expect divorce papers?" Celeste asked caustically.

"No." Jake said quietly.

"Why not?" Celeste asked, raising an eyebrow. "I know you don't love me or value our marriage--I think I've always known that and I've finally stopped deluding myself. You never loved me, it was always her."

"Yes." Jake admitted. "But... Its too late. Too late for me and Liane. I have commitments, a duty, the vows you and I made, and to our son, and to Lianne's daughter. Duncan and Veronica need stability, not chaos."

Celeste sighed bitterly. She should have known. "So this is for them." She said finally. "If it was up to you, you'd leave, but..."

"I'm sorry I hurt you, Celeste." Jake said quietly. "I've treated you badly, was horribly unfair to you all along and I regret that."

Celeste nodded, sensing the truth, but it felt hollow. Oh, he'd stay with her, because of duty, but he'd never love her and he'd no longer even bother pretending otherwise.

"So I have to have that woman's daughter, the daughter you wish was yours in my house for the next two years?" Celeste said bitterly.

"Yes." Jake said simply. "Veronica is a part of our family, perhaps not by blood, but by circumstance, and you have to accept that."

"What if I refuse?" Celeste demanded, hating the idea of having to have Liane's daughter in her house.

"Then I'll ask for a divorce." Jake said coldly. "I'll stay with you, stay married to you, and I'll be faithful from this point forward, but Veronica is part of the deal."

Celeste sat there, frozen by the grim reality of her marriage. Jake didn't love her, barely tolerated her. Yes, he was offering her the security and the fidelity that she longed for, but at such a cost. Even though she believed him when he said that he'd be faithful from now, it still felt hollow.

It wasn't about her, it was about the children. Celeste tried to imagine having Lianne's daughter living with them, a reminder of where Jake's heart really laid and the life he wished he could have. Plus, she couldn't help but bitterly think about how he was replacing one daughter for another, this one shiny and perfect. It was just too ugly, too bitter and she couldn't do it.

"I suppose you'll want Duncan to stay with you." She said coldly.

Jake looked stunned, but then nodded. "I'd prefer that, yes."

"Fine." Celeste said quietly. "And you can keep the house."

"I don't want it." Jake told her quickly.

Celeste nodded, not surprised. The house had never been a home, not for her, not for Jake and not for their children, though for a while she had tried, but... Well, it was impossible to fight for something that had never really existed in the first place.

"I'm sorry Celeste." Jake said after a long moment.

"I'm sorry to." Celeste said quietly, standing up with dignity. "Good-bye Jake."

It was ironic that after everything, she was leaving now, just when Jake had resolved to stay with her, but...

Well, it was time, she couldn't live a lie any longer. She had spent too long as second best, she couldn't face a lifetime of it. With that she turned and walked out of the restaurant with out looking back.

* * *


End file.
